WHEN IT’S TIME TO SAY 'NO'
WHEN IT’S TIME TO SAY 'NO'
Saying 'Yes!' to life is one of the most important decisions we can make in order to experience more. New experiences make us grow, and the more we grow the happier we are. However, that sort of an attitude is important to have when we have before us situations that make us move out of our comfort zone. Saying 'No' is sometimes more important. For our peace, our loyalty to ourselves and our priorities.
We have been taught to agree without a moment’s thought to serve others even when it’s not good for us. Being helpful is a sign of nobleness, but if we keep on giving ourselves to others, what is there left for ourselves?
- Say goodbye to feelings of guilt
When we need to say no to someone we are often faced with a feeling of guilt. That’s just one thing that comes out from the fact we are not dedicated enough to ourselves. When we realize that the constant 'Yes' is stopping us from being a person and turning us into a service, that’s when it’s important to introduce 'No' into our lives, not because it’s easier to say, on the contrary, but because it’s important to put ourselves first. Our time is precious, so it’s completely up to us who we want to give it to. Evaluation is an important part of the decision but guilt is redundant.
- It’s all about the way you will say 'No'
If you are one of those people that is yet to learn how to say 'No' and if that act seems hard at first, always allow yourself the time to make the right decision. Don’t jump in with the answer, neither affirmative nor negative. Firstly, think about what is required from you, how much time or resources it will take away from you, if you can fulfill this task in a good way, if you can dedicate yourself to it and if you can be sure of a positive outcome as well as what kind of emotions this is provoking in you. Never do something you are not comfortable with or that you won’t do right. You won’t help yourself or others.
Find a deadline in which you will answer and if your answer is 'No', answer in short and clear, but kind manner. Answers such as 'I’m not able to' or 'I don’t have the time' are sometimes sufficient because they won’t lead you into a trap of going into a deeper context of the reason, but it’s up to you to decide based on the person that has asked you the favour. Don’t give long and complicated explanations because the other side will get the wrong impression that you are justifying yourself. In the end, always that that person for thinking of you as someone to rely on.
- 'No' means 'No'
We sometimes get into an uncomfortable situation where the other side just won’t hear our final answer. They will become persistent in trying to soften you into saying 'Yes'. Stick firmly to your decision, respect yourself, and don’t explain yourself. Your 'No' should remain a 'No', because your reasons are strong enough for you, and that’s the most important thing. Keep your kindness and your cool and defend your 'No' with a firm attitude.